As much as I love learning, I am starting to get sick of school. Like, REALLY sick of school. As hard as it is to believe, there comes a point in time when studying all day everyday gets old. And that time is now.
The worst part is that now is also the time when I have the most studying to do. I have more classes each day, and I have a lot of boards studying to do, so my lack of motivation is really taking its toll.
Plus I have an infinite list of things to do before we move to Arizona and have a baby. I am trying to do things one at a time, and I have an order in which things need to be decided and figured out. And I get really stressed out when someone wants to me to decide #159 on my list.
So I guess to make a long story short, I am a little overwhelmed. I know that I’m not the only med student who is overwhelmed right now, but there is something about being pregnant AND a med student that amplifies everything. It is just a very lonely place to be. There aren’t exactly a lot of other pregnant med students around. Actually, there aren’t any…besides me. And the bigger my belly gets, the more I feel like I stand out.
I would give anything to have one friend in the exact same boat as me. I get a lot of advice now that I’m pregnant, and I do appreciate it. But the fact is, nobody that I know has been in my situation. And it is a very unique situation to be in.
It was really comforting when I talked with one of my female professors the other day, only to find out that she had a baby during her third year, too. She told me that third year was the best year to have a baby. It was nice to be reminded that other people have been where I am, and they managed to make it through.
In just the last few days I have started to feel my baby kicking, which is really amazing, and with each little kick I am reminded that everything is going to be okay. In one week we get to find out if Baby Howie is a boy or a girl, and I am REALLY looking forward to that. 17 weeks and counting!